I'm not giving up
by TheRoyalAddict
Summary: Jill's fight for the premature baby unit she knows is so important. Includes parts from the programme.
1. Chapter 1

'Gordon, we've still got to talk about the bequest' Spoke Jill from the kitchen as Gordon sat in the living room  
'Jill I really don't see what there is to talk about. As far as I'm concerned, the money would be best used to build another general ward.' He replied as he sipped his scotch.

'I disagree. We've already got Milner and Fawcett but no capacity to look after seriously ill babies. If we could save just one babies life, wouldn't it be worth it? At the moment we have to transfer them to Ashfordly which as you well know is risky in itself' Jill became frustrated as she walked into the living room and leant on the door frame facing her husband. 'And what you say goes, of course?'

'That's not what I'm saying and you know it. I'm just telling you what I think, whether that happens is another matter entirely...come on let's not argue; works for work and we're at home now.' He tried to bargain with his wife, sensing she was become agitated by the situation

Jill walked over to her husband and planted a tender kiss on his rough cheek

'I do love you, you know that don't you?' She questioned whilst looking her husband directly in the eyes

'Of course I do, and I love you more than anything. Whatever happens, it'll be for the good of the hospital trust me.' Gordon kissed his wife back, holding her face in one hand and wrapping his other arm around her waist. He gently pulled her onto the sofa besides him.

He knew the real reason for her wanting a premature-baby unit; the loss of their own child. Gordon could fully understand her desperation, but he knew that no matter what they did in the future, it wouldn't bring back their lost baby and Jill would never carry another child. It had become a partly unmentioned event in their marriage. There were still odd moments when they spoke briefly of the loss they'd suffered but it was still, and always would be, too painful for them both; especially Jill.

Jill leant her head on Gordon's chest and he stroked her back lovingly

'You know I'll do everything I can to get the baby unit!' She joked

'I know you will darling...I know you will' He replied, his eyes closing and his breathing becoming slower and more relaxed.


	2. Chapter 2

_A few days later_

'D-day looms large, ay Doctors?' Joked Mr. Rose outside the hospital

'Ah the Middleditch bequest' Piped up Gordon

'Have you made your decision?' Questioned Rose, interested in the future of The Royal

'err no not yet, only that Gordon is adamant a new general ward should take precedence over a new prem-baby unit!' Answered Jill sarcastically

'I'm sorry, I just think more patients would benefit' Added Gordon, trying to get Jill onside

'You need to be in accordance before the money is allocated. Might I suggest you settle your differences sooner rather than later! End of play today wasn't it?' Interfered the sharp surgeon.


	3. Chapter 3

_Later that day a difficult situation between Jill and Nick in his consulting room. Jill desperately wanting to get somebody onboard for the premature baby unit._

'You see at the moment all we can do is struggle to keep premature babies alive until we get them to Ashfordly' Jill outlined her reasoning's to Nick

'Which happens to be the best specialist unit in the county' Added Nick whilst adjusting his stethoscope

'Well...yeah but if we could save one tiny little baby's life then surely it's worth it, isn't it?'

'Normally I'd agree but... well it seems to me that maybe you're not quite objective enough to make a judgement just yet' Dr Burnett bravely suggested

'Sorry?' She added shocked and taken aback

'I'm no doubt widely overstepping the mark here but err I am aware of your past problems'

'Which are?'

'Well it wasn't so long ago that you err... that you lost a baby of your own'

'Do hallucinate Mr Freud!'

'Maybe it's still so raw in your mind, that this determination to push the baby unit through isn't unconnected'

'Oh I see. So you're suggesting I can't separate the personal from the professional? That would make it pretty difficult to function as a GP though wouldn't it?... excuse me.' Shocked and upset Jill left the room, leaving Nick regretting what he'd said. Dr Burnett hadn't intentionally set out to cause Jill any pain but he just said it how it was, from his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

During her lunch break Jill decided to open up to Gordon, to wrong her right. Gordon sat at his desk and Jill sat opposite him, just like most other lunches.

Holding her cheese sandwich in one hand and picking at the corner Jill broke the silence 'Nick err Nick said something earlier...'

'What did he say?' Gordon tried to tread carefully, sensing that a difficult topic for Jill was coming up

'He said that maybe the real reason I'm so desperate for this premature baby unit is... is because of what happened to us'

'You mean losing our child?'

'Yeah...' And then it went quiet, her eyes welled up. Gordon's heart went out to her. He knew it was the real reason but didn't have the guts to upset her any further

'And what do you think love? Gordon asked carefully

'I think I responded quite harshly. He was only trying to help us decide... Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm trying to over compensation...'

Gordon reached over and placed his hand on top of Jill's, squeezing it gently.

'We don't need to talk about this now, do we hey?' He reassured her. Jill responded by giving her husband a weak smile and carrying on with her lunch.


	5. Chapter 5

And the power between a husband and wife was immense. Although only limited words had been said, Gordon had put Jill at ease and made her realise the truth. A short time later Jill faced Nick again.

She caught him in the corridor and made her move to put things right. 'Nick... you got a moment? There's something I'd like to discuss'

And together they made their way outside, out of earshot of their colleagues

'I've been blinkered haven't I? I'm been so obsessed with not wanting to be seen as weak. I should have allowed myself more time to grieve for what I lost really...'

'Hence the crusade for premature babies?'

Jill's voice trembled as the reality hit her 'All the specialist units in the world, I'm never going to have another baby am I?'

'I'm sorry Jill' Comforted Nick, trying to understand how hard it must be his colleague

'It's okay. This is such a generous bequest I think it's up to use to make the most of it, don't you?' Tears feel down the Drs face as she fought not to cry. She smiled to reassure Nick that everything was going to be alright


	6. Chapter 6

To prove she'd accepted things Jill made a positive gesture to Gordon when she next saw him on the wards

Jill cupped her husband's face in her hands and spoke words of affection, a rare sight in front of patients 'I love you Gordon Ormerod! Oh and you can have your new general ward and your new wing and your operating theatres'

'I'm sorry?' A surprised Gordon questioned

'I had a chat with Nick and I realise I've been a bit sort of obstructive really and I'm sure we can come to some sort of compromise'

'Okay...' Each of them pleased with the outcome, and Gordon glad that the tension between the two of them had vanished

_That evening, after all the trauma of the day; Moira's sudden birth and then death, the decision made by Jill could easily have been forgotten but Gordon felt it important to let his wife know how proud he was of her. _

'Jill...I'm proud of you, you know that don't you?' Gordon slipped his hand around his wife's waist and kissed her neck

'You are? What for?'

'For today... I know our loss will never go away but it'll get easier I promise you. And the decision you made today was brave of you, to admit that there were other reasons behind your intentions.'

'No, you're right it'll never go away but as long as I've got you and Tom, Katie and Jonathon I'm sure I can face anything' Jill turned round and planted a kiss on Gordon's lips, pulling him closer and savouring the moment.


	7. Chapter 7

'Thank you Jean' Smiled Jill as she took her place in front of the crowds of people, her husband standing just metres away proudly watching her every movement with their three (now slightly older) children. 'It's taken a long while, a lot of energy and planning but today we can finally open our premature baby unit. This unit is vitally important to secure the future of many very tiny babies, and is a brilliant addition to our thriving hospital. I've witnessed numerous sick children die because the equipment needed wasn't available, but I'm positive many more babies will now be saved. I myself suffered a terrible loss, and yes even if we'd of had the unit it wouldn't have made any difference but as a mother of three I know exactly how important the younger generation are... and how the significance of this new wing...Thank you all for coming to mark this wonderful occasion.' Jill smiled at the cameras and cut the red ribbon.

It was a remarkable day, and one Jill had never given up hope for. Gordon was immensely proud of her determination and strength to do what she believed in. Doctor Jill Weatherill had certainly left a wonderful legacy for generations to come to benefit from.


End file.
